i am patiently waiting for the nail polish to dry before i finish the rest of my getting ready for tonight. you know during a divorce and after there are a lot of things that you think about: lawyers, who gets what, where should i move, is this feeling of rejection ever going to go away, and then eventually after everything has settled… dating.
so here i am getting ready for a date -a first date, not the very first date since the divorce. but the first one were i am really serious about dating. not just dating to just pass the time to make me feel better. this isn’t the rebound date for me. i have had plenty of those this past year and then this summer it switched for me, something happened i won’t go into details about it but i realized that there was life after divorce. i realized there were great guys out there and men who would fit who i am as a person, i realized that it is possible for me to love someone else to have an interest, real interest in someone. and so since then i got excited about dating and to take a serious outlook to dating but to also have fun with it. not every date will be worth the 2 hours of getting ready but there will be some that are. and not every successful first date has to lead into a second date, but it is a goal to get to that second, third, forth date.
i am looking forward to tonight, getting to know someone new, the conversations, awkwardness, and being just enough vulnerable. i am looking forward to learning and gaining new perspectives on this whole dating after divorce. but more importantly this whole single-hoodness of the ups and downs. just like marriage there is a lot of ups and downs your just doing it all on your own and you know with your family and close friends while you are out there being you and letting just a few to see that. so here is to a whole new adventure in single hood and dating. to new beginnings and letting go and letting in, to being positive about those mishaps, not fretting over every single possibility, to flirting, to every success and each failure.
so here’s to love: new, old, renewed, discovered, and lost!