i’ve been wanting to write for awhile but i haven’t been able to gather all of my thoughts together into one precise – coherent thought form.   there has been a lot happening lately and i feel as if my life is going in over drive and i am constantly on catch up.  don’t get me wrong i am enjoying every pulsing chaotic moment of it, never in my life have i been this happy.   i think less of the past and this week marks two years since my ex walked out and the start of what got me here and I have so much i want to say on that that i never did before while it was all happening. I have notebooks and writings scattered about my room on everything.  and i will get to all of that eventually not because i feel i need anything from it or that others should know everything but because there are things that i feel could help someone else.  so that someone else doesn’t have to feel so alone and feel what they are going though that it isn’t just them, especially to my fellow women.  and i will, i will get into all of that.  but that’s not what i want to go into today.

it snowed this week, finally after months of no snow and wondering if utah was going to have a winter, a storm came in and blasted us with all of her winter glory.  it’s all but melted today, but yesterday it was beautiful. fresh snow covering the ground. snow and ice formed magically on all the trees.  the clouds left by the afternoon and we were met with some beautiful bluebird skies.  but before all that happened the night before after i got home from school, studying and listening to a very entertaining and informative man talk about dating i left with energy and thought about running.  so i did, i ran down the river walkway and it was just me and the trees and the river. i jogged and walked and danced. and then laughed at my ridiculousness of me dancing on the pathway with cars driving above the bridge and me in my own little world as the fat snowflakes fell and i salsa danced my way along.  and i had thought earlier that day about it being two years. what i had been doing before it all happened and then the days and weeks where i was and how i never thought i would be here….going to school, making it on my own, having crushes and how Damn Easy it All could be. but out there in the snow, the path with the trees and the river and the music i let go of all of that and i danced and it was me and nature and my body.  and i felt so fantastic afterwords.

and that night after showering getting into my warm sweatpants and t-shirt i crawled myself into my bed.  and i stretched out, moving my feet along my sheets cozening up right in the sweet spot, the middle and then i thank God for where i am in life. that my life is busy, for school, for work, friends, my family, my home and for this time in my life and then i thanked for that snow, that beautiful wonderful snow that helps us to thrive out here in the desert


with love,


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