a revision of a revision of plans

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a few months ago i posted that i would be getting an r.v, that is still the plan but i have had to revise my plan a few times since then.  last night when i went to bed and thought about all of this and what seemed like the millionth time i had to go back and redraft my plans. I felt like a ping pong ball in constant motion bouncing off the walls.  i’m realizing this is just a part of life and learning to work with what comes to you.

family stuff of course came up and set my plans in a direction i hadn’t planned on.  these things of course happen and i am very fortunate to have a great support system around me.  it has made it easier for me to handle and figure my life out.  i had planned on staying with my mother for a few months to get things settled out and to save money. that of course didn’t work out the way i had hoped and so i went back to the drawing board. there was a moment i was going to lease out an apartment.  i ended up not having to and was able to stay with my employers.

during this time i had started planning to leave at the end of the month and go ahead to asheville, nc with out the rv and figure it out when i got there or at least give it a whirl. i have put feelers out there but have yet to hear back from anyone yet, so the new revision is in a way go back to where i started.  i will be renting my old room with my past roommate and i will be able to have charlie back with me.  i have been feeling more relaxed about this plan.  sometimes when things seem to be rushing to quickly and nothing seems to be happening you can lose a little of your zest. this just gives me some more time to keep looking for the best job for myself.

there have been days, when at times i believe i am all alone and that my dreams aren’t going to happen but it never lasts because i finally look around at all the amazing people who have come into my life the last few years.  they have been the family that i have longed for, they have become in a way- my people.  supporting me in any way they can and in the best  ways helping me to believe more in myself. pushing me forward with my own dreams. i finally believe because of them that traveling and writing isn’t some crazy off the wall pipe dream but something i can do if i really want to chase it and work for it. so when i do finally leave i know that i am going to miss them as much as i will miss this desert, mountain range.

thankfully i haven’t had too much time to worry to hard. the last month or so i have also been able to help my good friends out with their house they are selling and getting it presentable for selling, spending some time with friends, creating writing projects for myself, reading a lot and doing some hiking.  since i do have a little more time here i will be checking out the summer concerts that will be happening here in ogden. there are some great bands coming to town and i realize that i haven’t gone to as many shows as i would like. so it will be some cheap play and more planning.  i also have plans for this blog of mine in the coming months.

anyways, keep the faith & keep believing in yourself.

with love,

jess

 

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