The yellow cafe. 

The store front has a bright cheerfull yellow door and beautiful yellow painted woodworking along the front.  The cafe chose me or perhaps I chose it in a time when I needed extra cheering up, in a time I needed hope and goodness.  

The cafe took me in, shaped me gave me new life.  I wizzed and zipped and dashed laughing and smiling as I took the orders of each customer. Flirting my way to the hearts of the older men, magically enticing the children and charming my way with the women.  It gave me something no other place has given me, confidence. 

 I had left many other jobs prior to the yellow cafe.  Griting my teeth and leaving in tears feeling less about myself, less of my potential. I would leave each place crying and praying asking for anything something better.  Till finally when I had all but given up or given in I walked into that bright yellow, and lit filled cafe entranced and in awe of it.   I knew the first day of working there that I would be there for awhile. That it was what I had needed, prayed for. 

I've put a lot of love and energy into that beautiful yellow bright cafe. I never wanted to let anyone down, always giving my all and doing my utmost best.  I fell in love with the cafe as I learned to fall in love with myself.  I dreamed between those walls and windows. Watching as those came and went. Food served, ate and plates taken from tables.  In between hello and good bye, thank you and your welcome.  While listening to others stories, dreams and personal life theories.  I learned who ate what, who came in when and that even that could change month to month. 

I left today, even after so much love I realized that I wasn't giving as much because I wasn't giving to myself. Not in the way I am needing.  I was feeling stuck and unimagined. So I left on blind faith that I needed to push myself, conquer my fears and start living my dreams more and that I would end up where I need to be in this world.  I believe like food we also have an expiration date that we shouldnt go over.  We are placed, given things in our lives to teach us, nourish parts of our lives but then its time for us to move on. Allow the empty space to fill with a new something  to come into our lives and teach us, nourish us. 

I'm grateful for my time in that bright yellow, light filled cafe but I look forward to new adventures and challenges as well. 

With love, 

Jess 

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