Humility and vulnerability 

Hello September!

Though it’s still feels just as hot as August.  This heat wave can move on out for a little cooler weather.

I feel as if I a in some sort of new learning when it comes to humility and vulnerability.  It seems to be a theme with me.

Humility is walking into an establishment with your resume in hand only to then be rejected. Learning to hold tears until after you are down the block is a skill set I wish I could say in an interview.

I joke but really I am crying somewhere inside while also laughing at how many other people are out searching for a job and how overly competitive it is in Portland.

I like to throw my hands up in the air with my middle finger strongly up in force.

You do that and keep moving forward, keep getting up everyday, keep handing out your resume, getting uncomfortable because at some point it gets a little easier. At some point all those tears, middle fingers and resume posting gets you somewhere hopefully where you want to be.

I had finally after a lot of handing resumes, walking and biking around had gotten hired on at a restaurant.  After two days of training I was told it wouldn’t work out.   It hurt and I felt let down.  I was really hoping this would work out.  I’m not mad at them, I see it as business which it is.  It finally came down to not feeling like I would be a good fit for the restaurant and that’s fine, it would of probably been a mutual feeling at some point.  I also had my hesitation about it as well.  So rather than being upset I am going to be grateful for the opportunity and put my energy towards something more fitting for myself.

So what is it I want- besides blogging/writing

Working for a company that is environmentally friendly and continues to work towards that.

Family friendly and engaging

Outdoorsy

A place I can work on my skill sets through continual training.

Potential of working up within the company

Travel

I applied at a temp agency today with the long holiday I probably won’t hear back until Tuesday.  After talking with my best friend and looking it up I feel like it will be a benefit for me to try out to help me towards my goals.

Sometimes we all just feel a little lost and it feels at odds with everyone else around us.  I say keep your head up high, look straight at the world in front of you and what seems scary will eventually unfold it’s self.   It always does, I’ve seen it time and time again.  It’s all seems so hard, you’ve lost a sense of who you are, where your going and what you want.  Hang on it usually doesn’t last as long as you think it will.

Breath in and out and loudly say “F@&$ It All!”

Sometimes it’s the best measure.

– jess

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