Drafted early June 2022. Excerpt I wrote this out right after I had been dating someone a second go at it and as all long distance happen a phone call that ended the relationship.
Dating is hard and just seems to get even more complicated as we get older and that’s not even including adding in being a flight attendant.
Or perhaps that is just the excuse… me being a flight attendant. Always gone never at home.. it certainly adds an extra layer to it but I also know it’s what we put into it as well.
It’s been almost a decade since my divorce… that’s 9 years of first dates, first kisses, promises of calling, being stood up and standing others up… of one year long cross country relationship, of-is this isn’t this something, of awkward non dates that seems like a date.. of never getting it quite right.
I wish this one didn’t have to hurt as much and yet it does.
And here I am again wondering if maybe those years of dreaming of some distant family I believed was in the cards was all a distraction. All those years of dreaming of the dream man was in fact a smoke and mirrors.
Not all of us are meant to be with someone.. perhaps we are meant for something else that is better for us.